By: Angel Freedman B.S.W RSW
Registered Social Worker
Relationships are built on friendship and love. Enjoying each other’s company in a harmonious, respectful manner – be it through conversation, an activity you both share, or the joys of everyday living; and passion – be it through connection, hand holding, or romantic love – are what makes for a life built on closeness and connection.
Let’s start with friendship. Your partner is someone you enjoy spending time with and with whom you have many commonalities. Friendship is the connection a loving romantic couple share in a long term healthy marriage or union.
The definition of friendship is “a state of mutual trust and support” – exactly what most people are looking for in a lifetime partner. Friends are willing to try activities with each other. Friends will attempt to enjoy each other’s hobbies to ensure the friendship continues and grows.
Check in with your partner’s values. Do they match yours? Communicating your values, wants and needs at the onset of a relationship will ensure that you are both on the same page going forward.
Sharing your hopes, dreams and ambitions with your partner adds excitement
“A loving relationship is like having your best friend sleep over forever.”
Be playful, cook together, grocery shop together, and/or dance in the kitchen. Find new and wonderful activities that you can share and explore together.
“Opposites don’t attract, they divorce.”
When entering into a loving romantic relationship with your partner, sex is part of the commitment you make to each other.
Passion and romance comes easy to couples who have open dialogue and a loving touch. Holding hands, kissing, and love making are all part of a healthy sex life.
Communication and trust play a vital role in becoming lovers. Playful banter and a message during the day adds to the excitement of what will be in the bedroom that evening. Take time for your lover; create a special space in your home together for the two of you to share your day.
“Television is for the living-room, not the bedroom!”
The bedroom is your intimate space, for you both to be together every evening. Many couples have a bar fridge, tea service, comfy chairs to have long conversations. The list is endless on how you can enjoy your partner and share your most intimate hopes, dreams and ambitions.
“Sexless relationships are roommates.”
In closing, I counsel many individuals and couples looking for the answers to what is a healthy loving relationship. Start with making a list of what you want in a relationship and share that list with your partner. If you are coming out of a relationship, take time to heal and grieve that relationship before you embark on a new one. Check in to see if your new partner has healed from his/her past relationship. Our divorce rate is skyrocketing! It’s time to learn what are the steps for a healthy, romantic and passionate relationship and what are the myths. We like to say, “times have changed”; yet in reality, they haven’t when it comes to people looking for that special someone they can spend the rest of their lives with. Mutually respectful and kind people take time for each other and remember that relationships are more than just everyday responsibilities, such as children, feeding the dog and work. Healthy relationships are full of wonder, laughter, joy and love making.