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Separation/Divorce "Think Before you Write"

Not all emails, phone calls, and text messages need to be answered right away. Not every question needs to be answered either.  You can simply smile when you don't have an answer in the moment.  Think before you speak or write.

Emotions are high in separation and divorce. This is the reality. Anger, frustration and most of all sadness play an integral part of this very real traumatic time in a person’s life.

Messages from the person that you separated and/or divorced from can be exhausting as well as quite disheartening. I will use the word “barraging” emails and text messages that arrive; often, fast and furious from one person and the recipient does have a choice to respond back in a manner that doesn’t bring on more conflict. I like to use the example of a fishing pole, one person casts the line and the other gets hooked right in and then it starts. CUT THE LINE, before you get hooked in!

If one person sends an email that can be answered right away with a few short words that is the way to go. If someone writes, “I will be late picking up tomorrow, I will send you a quick note on the exact time” This is not the time to go into a deep discussion about punctuality, taking the other person’s tardiness inventory, and/or anything else you want to dream up because you are just generally mad/angry about everything else. This short note can escalate into ten pages of basic anger dialogue and really all the email said is the person was going to be a few minutes late. Time to let go.....let’s start with a few words and short sentences to answer an email. If the email is degrading, anger driven and or downright rude. “Thanks for sharing” is a very good response. Remember cut the line quickly!

Very short answers to emails that have no, sarcasm or anger attached is better for your own health.

Thank you

Thank you for informing me

I appreciate the information

I will consider your thoughts and get back to you

You have some valid points

I never looked at it that way

I will take that into consideration

Give me a day to think about your question

Angel Freedman

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